Upon reading the numerous news stories and opinion pieces about Barack Obama's relationship with the controversial Reverend Jeremiah Wright, I began to think what this national dialogue would have looked like a few years ago when then-Governor George Bush stated his affinity for a certain Jesus Christ. Below are my musings in the form of satire. Also, I originally wrote this piece for the Columbia Daily Spectator, but I was censored and it was never printed. Enjoy!
On Monday, December 13, 1999, Republican front-runner George W. Bush in a debate was asked to name the political philosopher or thinker he identifies with the most. “Christ, because He changed my life,” Governor Bush answered. Since then, pundits and have scrambled to identify this “Christ” figure to better understand the impact He has had on Governor Bush.
Jesus of Nazareth, or Jesus Christ, was born circa 7–2 BC in Bethlehem of Judea. His childhood was marked by poverty. According to Christ biographer “John,” Christ would occasionally re-tell the story of how His parents could not find a suitable place for His birth.
“They [Christ’s parents] were poor and amongst the lowly. Inn-owners claimed there was no room, but I know their hearts. I ended up being born in a manger, for My-sakes!” Christ recounted at a sermon in the early years of the first millennium, AD/CE.
Christ’s early life as a hard-working carpenter and devoutly religious individual prepared Him for His later roles as political and religious leader. It is His political philosophy that has most recently come under fire and brimstone.
In a sermon dated approximately 30 AD/CE, Christ is quoted advocating a pacifist foreign policy.
“But I say unto you, that ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also,” Christ told an undetermined number of followers on a mountainside.
“This is inexplicable. The
Christ has also come under recent attack for his comments nearly two centuries ago wherein he reminded his followers that they will reap what they sow.
“Give, and it shall be given unto you; good measure, pressed down, and shaken together, and running over, shall men give into your bosom. For with the same measure that ye mete withal it shall be measured to you again,” Christ is quoted as saying.
“The implications of his speech are far-reaching. One could use this understanding to justify terrorist attacks against our country. This “chickens coming home to roost” rhetoric is both unwanted and unpopular. That which is unpopular must be [hesitates] morally corrupt,” Nation of Islam Information Minister, Khalid Mohammad, asserted in a CNN interview yesterday.
Pundits also point to Christ’s close association with John the Baptist, the wild-eyed convicted felon of King Herod’s court.
“How can a presidential candidate associate himself with someone who associated Himself with a barbarian? The American people expect a president who has the judgment to choose the associates of his associates wisely,” McAllister commented.
Political pundits are not the only ones upset with Bush’s association with Christ. Those outside of the Christian community were also uncomfortable with Christ’s political philosophy.
“It was just awkward. It made me think more deeply about spirituality in my life, and I live a life wherein these issues are not at the forefront. I would much rather just imagine people like Him do not exist,” an anonymous source stated. Under this view, the complacency and “comfort” engendered by privilege is of greater value than the critical interrogation of provocative ideas.
Others find Christ’s assertions reasonable. They point to his humble beginnings as the root of his radical politics. Is it unreasonable, some inquire, for an individual who grew up below the poverty line to advocate the meek inheriting the earth and the poor obtaining the
Governor Bush has been baffled by the recent inquiries into his relationship with Christ. Bush’s speech on Wednesday has been heralded as the most clear headed and meaningful speech on spirituality since John F. Kennedy’s address to the Greater Houston Ministerial Association in 1960.
“I just want to make it clear that I do not advocate the politics of Jesus Christ; rather, I am drawn to his spiritual guidance. That is the nature of our relationship. I unequivocally denounce his offensive, anti-American views. However, I cannot disown him any more than I could disown my own grandmother who used to remind me to treat others as I would like to be treated,” Bush said in his charming Southern drawl.
“I just want to make it clear to the American people that Christ’s political philosophy is representative of a fingy fraction [apologizes] a fringe faction. Those who advocate a politics of compassion and loving one’s enemies are certainly not representative of the American spirit,” Bush continued.
Close advisors to Governor Bush remind him to focus on the real issues of the election such as health care and racial equality. It remains unclear as to what Bush’s association with Christ will ultimately mean for his campaign for the presidency.
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